I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
