im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
is that a dick in a sweater?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
