I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
