I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I am one with the molecules
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
