remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
