tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
