I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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