he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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