dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
