I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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