how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
