dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
