You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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