I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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