A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
