She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
