if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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