I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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