i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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