Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
