so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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