i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
