Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
