absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
