were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize