yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
We got so high we made milksteak
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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