can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
