look no pants
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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