when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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