Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
