Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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