My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize