dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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