somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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