He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
