So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize