I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
