Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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