After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
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if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
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Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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