I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
True college students do jello shots in the library
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize