my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
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She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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