I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize