I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Pooping to opera.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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