hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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