"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Randomize
