is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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