I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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