oh god the rape fog is back!
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
