i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
