Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
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Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
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Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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