I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
