I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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