2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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