White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
