it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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