Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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