i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
