My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Randomize