This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
