I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
