as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
It was confusing and full of hummus
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
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I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
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Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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